


can't stop me now, cause i'm having a ball

by tommyshepherdd (atimeforflores)



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Gift Fic, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 00:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20144485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atimeforflores/pseuds/tommyshepherdd
Summary: Damian reached for his cell phone, putting it up to his ear before shouting, “Did you fuck my mom, Jimmy Olsen?”





	can't stop me now, cause i'm having a ball

Damian glared at the child in front of him. The child stared back with too wide and trusting green eyes. He absentmindedly chewed on his thumb, offering the appendage to Damian with a slobbery grin when Damian yanked it out of his mouth. 

“-tt-.” Damian scoffed, pushing the toddler further away from himself, much to the amusement of his peers. Jon had been a necessary evil because he needed someone able to get him in and out of his mother’s facility quickly. Lace and Maya, however, could have been avoided. Not that those two ever would have let him ditch them, especially when it came to his mother. 

Talia and Damian’s relationship had become less strained and antagonistic, but his friends wouldn’t believe Damian’s word for it. Damian was caught in between annoyed and warmed by his friend’s overprotectiveness. 

Which led to the audience he had acquired to witness his humiliation at the hands of a toddler. Well, maybe not humiliation, since the toddler didn’t exactly do anything and Damian was the one who made him cry by pushing him. But still, the daggers that Maya glared at him as she bundled the horrid gremlin child in her jacket and hugged him close made Damian’s cheeks and the tips of his ears burn. 

“I see you’ve met your brother.” Damian flinched at the sound of his mother’s voice, whirling on his heel to see her. Breaking into a hotel would be no hardship for her talents but Damian wished he would have heard her arrival. 

“My _ what?”  _ Damian would protest later retellings that said his voice squeaked. Damian would reiterate that he was just taken by surprise that his mother would disappoint him in such a way that he had gotten used to primarily from his father. 

“You heard me, Damian.” Talia said, smoothing a gentle hand through the child’s loose ginger curls. “This is Ian. He’s your little brother.”

Damian looked from Talia to Ian, to Maya, to Jon, to Lace. 

“Seriously, Damian, I would have introduced you two soon enough. You didn’t need to break in and steal him.” Talia continued. Ian cooed at her, reaching chubby arms out towards her. 

“How’d you hide a brother from me?” Damian asked, looking back towards the cooing child. 

“Oh Damian,” Talia tutted, rubbing a hand through his hair. He desperately tried to scowl and not melt into the touch, “He’s not the first. But don’t worry, you’ll meet the others at some point.”

“Your family’s weird.” Lace stated after Talia had finally left with firm instructions to get Ian to bed by 8 pm, lest his sleeping pattern be ruined again. 

“You don’t know the half of it.” Maya answered for Damian, having spent the past two Christmases with the Waynes. 

“Wait?” Jon asked as they were crossing the Atlantic to get Ian settled in at Wayne Manor. “Who’s Ian’s dad?”

Damian looked at the sleeping toddler on his chest, pushing the curls off the child’s forehead. 

Ian scrunched his nose, sleepily pushing at Damian’s hand. Damian had the strange urge to trace the freckles across the bridge of his nose. The expression looked strangely familiar. 

Damian reached for his cell phone, putting it up to his ear before shouting, “Did you fuck my mom, Jimmy Olsen?” 

**Author's Note:**

> this is a gift for Mel, u rock kiddo 
> 
> my tumblr is gaysupersoldiers


End file.
